Notes on Gender Role Transition
Anne Vitale Ph.D.
Significant Other Index
A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman
This article is reprinted with
permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms
Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached
One of the more disturbing topics that significant others discuss is that of faithfulness. It seems that many wives, not just girlfriends mind you, have discovered that when their crossdressing husbands emerge from the closet, they feel sexual experimentation is now on the agenda. Some are convinced they really are women; therefore a boyfriend is in order. Others don’t know what they want, but just want to play around a bit until they discover what they like.
At the same time these individuals are experimenting, they expect their wives to support and condone their behavior, keep the family unit intact without even raising an eyebrow. They are hurt and saddened to find their wives are angry, exasperated and upset at such behavior.
Many wives are wondering if they should divorce their philandering mates. Girlfriends are wondering if they should cut and run or attempt to rein in their boyfriend’s behavior. They all are wondering if crossdressing is the root of the problem.
This sort of activity puts those crossdressers who do not cheat on their partners in a bad light. Their wives, hearing about such behavior, may begin to fear their own partners will start to experiment. They are less inclined to support crossdressing if they come to believe that crossdressing is causing the infidelity.
Other significant others are concerned about the increased activity on the Internet on the part of their crossdressers. It is not unusual for some to report their husbands have been visiting pornographic sites.
This causes other significant others to believe that any Internet activity on the part of their spouses may be suspect. Visiting gender sites, particularly those concerned with transsexual issues, frighten and terrify wives trying to understand crossdressing.
So if crossdressers are to hope that significant others will not only tolerate but also support their crossdressing, they must take the higher, moral road. Being faithful to one’s partner or spouse is expected in society. No less should be expected of crossdressers.