I am the mother of a 28 year old transgendered FTM. Since he 'came out' 8 years ago, changing his name and his way of dress. He has, also, been slowly and steadily breaking his emotional ties with the family. The family has engaged in reading and discussion leading us to accept him and address him by his new name. I recently asked him if he felt accepted by the family, and he answered yes. However, he said that he would never be the same way with the family as he was before because he said the family did not give him what he 'deserved or was entitled to' as he was growing up. My family and I are heartbroken and at a loss as to know how to proceed.
By -- Mar 16, 2022
The feeling of having been gypped of their boyhood and being angry at their parents over it is something of a pattern with female-to-male transsexuals. (Incidentally, I have not noticed a similar pattern in genetic males who transition to the female gender role).
Eight years is a long time for this standoff to be going on. Someone in the dialogue is being overly resistant and unrealistic. I would hope that your child is transitioning under psychological/medical supervision. In my practice I make a point--especially if I know there is a problem-- to bring the family into our work together to iron out just such a discord.
