Significant Other

Be Aware of Experts

A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman

This article is reprinted with permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached at Julie39@comcast.net

Beware of Experts

Posted Jan 13, 2014

Several weeks ago, I watched a Dr. Phil show where he was talking about "gender-confused children." His goal was to help parents learn what to do when faced with a transgendered child.

On the one side, he had two "experts" who theorized that transgenderism was a phase and could be "cured." They also believed that not only is gender-change a choice, but homosexuality as well. They emphasized that mothers were largely responsible for their children desiring to be the opposite sex (over-involved is their terminology). And especially single mothers where there was no obvious male influence. Parents need to guide their children away from what they consider just a phase. They want the mother to back off (their ...
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Denial

A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman

This article is reprinted with permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached at Julie39@comcast.net

Posted Jan 13, 2014

Denial

For the past few months, I have been receiving a lot of emails from significant others who suspect that their partners may be crossdressers. Some of them have even asked their partners whether they are crossdressers and their partners either won't answer them or deny they crossdress. But for many of them, there is evidence --receipts for clothes, makeup, and jewelry, secret telephone calls, access to Internet websites, weekend disappearances, etc., etc. When one wife asked her husband about removal of body hair, he said his hair had become brittle and he had too many ingrown hairs.

These wives searched for information on the Internet which led them to reading my articles and eventually led them to communicate with me. It see...
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Breaking My Heart

A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman

Originally published April 2014
Reposted here by permission on Jan 28, 2017

Breaking My Heart

Over the years, I have heard from many significant others. It continues to amaze me how many women still know very little about crossdressing. The usual scenario revolves around a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship where the girlfriend is told after the relationship has deepened that her boyfriend, occasionally, likes to wear women's clothes. Not on a regular basis and most often never outside the home - whether it is his or theirs.
For awhile, this particular girlfriend (B) reported she took the crossdressing in stride although she never used any terms associated with the gender community. Usually the crossdressing starts with panties and that is about it for a few weeks. Then slowly the crossdressing increases to bras, stockings, and nightgowns, but, again, still in the house, usually the bedroom.
Although (B) thought this behavior was a bit odd, it ...
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Secrets

A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman

Originaly published in "Devil Woman" May 1993
Republished here by permission February 2017

Secrets

One word that every CD knows is "secret." It is also known by many SO's. When I found out about my husband's crossdressing, I was very concerned about who knew our "secret." I was not one for shouting from the rooftops or walking down Main St., probably the result of having a very outgoing, extroverted father. Understandable as he is to me now, as a child it was difficult.
So when we told our children about the crossdressing, we asked that they keep it within our immediate family. There was no reason for anyone else to know. We had discussed this issue with other couples prior to my telling our children and many of them also shared our belief that crossdressing should remain within the family. Another SO reminded me that once you tell someone, you can never take it back. So be careful whom you tell.
So fo...
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Self Esteem

A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman

This article is reprinted with permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached at Julie39@comcast.net

Self Esteem

When significant others first find out about their partners' crossdressing, many believe at first they have somehow failed their partners. In some way, they must not be satisfactory or there would be no need for the crossdressing. Many times they believe they can "cure" the crossdressing if they somehow just do a better job at being a wife. When this does not work, as it won't, their self-esteem plummets and sometimes jealousy of the crossdressed persona may develop. As the crossdresser becomes more adept with makeup and wigs, as his wardrobe expands, and he becomes more attractive, her feelings of worth and significance may dwindle even more.

She may begin to rage at her partner, not even understanding why. And he, bewildered and conf...
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