Welcome To the Anne M. Vitale PhD Website

Going Back and Forth

A Signficant Other View
By Julie Freeman

julie39@comcast.net
January, 2012
Going Back and Forth

One of the wives posed an interesting question on our forum. I have been on this forum for probably well over a decade and have never seen it posed before.
"I wonder how things would be different if my DH just wanted to be a girl rather than part male/part female. Do you think it makes it too conflicting having to go back and forth for the spouses?"
I thought that would certainly make an interesting topic at a social get-together of crossdressers and their wives. Is it difficult going back and forth? But for the time being, I can only refer to the responses of other wives on the forum.
The question as it appeared was interpreted in two different ways. In this instance, the writer when mentioning spouses was referring to the husbands-- whether or not a crossdresser found it conflicting having to go back and forth between female and male mode. So some of the responses to that interpretation were as follows:
&qu...
Read More...

On Coming Back Home

A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman


February 2015
Reprinted here by permission. Posted January 28, 2017

On Coming Back Home

An interesting situation was reported by the significant other of a crossdresser who is home from overseas. He is very closeted, depressed, and I believe at this point in his life, feels he has no other choices in dealing with his life.
Laura, his significant other, has been having private email communication with her boyfriendÕs mother because of his depression. Apparently he does not know about the relationship between his mother and Laura, especially considering that he and his family live over 4,000 miles away.
It is not totally clear from the emails whether the crossdresser lives at home when he is not overseas or whether he lives with his girlfriend.
But what happened shortly after the boyfriend was back at home, his mother went through his clothing and discovered ÒNina.Ó While his mother did not specifically refer to any particular item, she simply menti...
Read More...

Finding Out Unexpectently


A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman


Originally published July 2014 In Devil Woman
Reposted here by permission January 28, 2017

Finding Out Unexpectedly

Over the years, I have received emails from husbands asking for advice on how to talk to their wives when of course the wife has discovered her husband is a crossdresser.
Quite frequently, the issue revolves around the wife finding out about the crossdressing unexpectedly - whether it be stumbling upon the husband crossdressed, reading an email, discovering an Internet site, finding a photograph or something else. But when the husband then attempts to explain the crossdressing to his wife, in so many cases the wife says she can no longer trust her husband because he kept this "secret" from her. Even though the husband attempts to explain that fear was the reason he kept the crossdressing from her, the wife cannot find a way to forgive.
At some point, the husbands write me hoping that I have a magic solution to their problem - a way to help the...
Read More...

Letter Writers

Notes on Gender Role Transition
Anne Vitale Ph.D. Editor
A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman


Originally published in "Devil Woman" February 2014
Republished here by permission February 2017

Letter Writers

Recently, I received an email from a woman (Linda) stating that she had been with her partner for about 20 years. Within the past few months, her partner declared that he was transsexual. She wanted to know if I knew of any support groups for lesbian women in her situation.
The online group I belong to consists mainly of spouses or partners of crossdressers and many of them never like any mention of transsexuals or SRS. However, I decided to ask anyway as you just never know where information can be found.
I was pleasantly surprised to hear from several women on the forum who had information. I decided to research some of the sites mentioned myself and was amazed as always at just how much you can learn from the Internet. At this point I didn't know if these sites ...
Read More...

Becoming Inventive

Notes on Gender Role Transition
Anne Vitale Ph.D. Editor
A Significant Other View

by Julie Freeman

This article is reprinted with permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached at Julie39@comcast.net

 

Becoming Inventive

When significant others attend social events, seminars, or perhaps conventions, it frequently involves getting baby sitters, other family members, or even friends to take care of the children. Usually, friends ask, “Oh, where are you going?” Family members in particular are curious just in general when asked to baby sit. “Oh, what kind of convention will you be attending?” At work, when asked for a few days off, it is not uncommon to be asked, “What is your reason?”

So wives and partners of crossdressers have had to become inventive when giving reasons for their attending gender events. When I first suggested to my husband that he attend a Tri-Ess Convention m...
Read More...

Copyright¬© 2006-2022 Anne Vitale PhD avitale.com All right reserved

DISCLAIMER: 

Nothing on this site should be viewed as providing therapeutic advice. No formation of a client/therapist
relationship with Dr. Vitale is intended or to be implied or inferred. The information provided in this site is for educational
purposes only. I attempt to keep the information current but make no representation or warranties in that regard. You should
not rely upon this information as a substitute for consul with a qualified mental health professional.