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Turn-around

A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman


Originally published in "Devil Woman" in January 2015

Republished here by permission, February 2017

Turn-around

It was with a degree of shock when I read a letter from a wife expressing her complete turn-around with crossdressing.
Just a few months ago, she joined our on-line support group, but quickly became annoyed and bothered by those few wives who seemed to accept crossdressing with little hesitation. She even thought the group was not for her because she just couldn't find anything acceptable about what her husband wanted to do.
She had thought she would find only a group of like-minded wives who would grouse, complain, and overall trash crossdressing and any activities associated with it like finding support groups, going to activities, and shopping, of course.
I did not expect her to remain on the list for very long as so many wives who do not find the support they were ex...
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Always Asked

Notes on Gender Role Transition
Anne Vitale Ph.D. Editor
A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman

This article is reprinted with permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached at Julie39@comcast.net

Always Asked

I generally attend a meeting for significant others about every three months, usually because they are held at my home. Invariably a wife who is new to crossdressing attends and without fail two questions are asked. "Is my husband gay?" and "Does he want to be a woman?" These certainly were the first two questions that crossed my mind several years ago when I first became aware of my husband's crossdressing.

Why do we think this? Like most of society, for us the only crossdressers we ever saw were drag queens, some of whom are quite open about their homosexuality. Who else dressed like a woman? And we certainly were not aware of the difference between crossdressers and drag queens, a...
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Joy in Crossdressing

A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman

This article is reprinted with permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached at Julie39@comcast.net

Joy in Crossdressing

At a recent conference, one of the seminars for wives included a discussion of whether or not joy could be found in crossdressing. Not on the part of the crossdresser--that is pretty well known. But whether or not there is joy in the relationship on the part of the significant other. This was part of the research that Peggy Rudd is conducting for a book she hopes to publish sometimes this year.

Now most significant others were not aware of crossdressing prior to their first relationship with a crossdresser. Most would say that they would have preferred crossdressing not to have become part of their world. But there are a few wives who have made crossdressing a prerequisite to a SECOND marriage or relationship. These are the significant others who have found joy...
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Giving Advice

A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman

This article is reprinted with permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached at Julie39@comcast.net

Giving Advice

Wives and partners, known as "significant others" in the gender community, are frequently asked for advice by those new to the gender community. At support groups for significant others, it is not uncommon for the leader to ask for questions from the group and then seek answers from the same group. Generally, those new will ask the questions and those not so new will give the answers.

Unfortunately, there are no easy answers to many of the questions asked, but easy answers are frequently given. "Do you think my husband wants to be a woman?" is probably the most frequently asked question. And perhaps too quickly another wife will respond, "Oh, no, he is just experiencing gender euphoria. Give him a few months and he will settle down." Or a...
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Safety

A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman

This article is reprinted here with permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached at Julie39@comcast.net

Safety

As a child, I was no stranger to danger. My parents, very outspoken, felt it their duty to make certain that we children understood what it is like to walk a picket line, to participate in a sit-in, boycott an industry, march down Main Street in protest of some action they found unconscionable, etc. It is then not unexpected that at one point I was shunned by neighborhood children who found my parents' politics not to their liking. I, being quite young, did not understand at all why my friends deserted me. I only knew that it hurt. It was also not unexpected to find that we were forced to move across the country because my father was unable to find a job that not only met his needs but also could support us.

So as I grew older, I found myself shying away from any pu...
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