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Finding Out Unexpectently


A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman


Originally published July 2014 In Devil Woman
Reposted here by permission January 28, 2017

Finding Out Unexpectedly

Over the years, I have received emails from husbands asking for advice on how to talk to their wives when of course the wife has discovered her husband is a crossdresser.
Quite frequently, the issue revolves around the wife finding out about the crossdressing unexpectedly - whether it be stumbling upon the husband crossdressed, reading an email, discovering an Internet site, finding a photograph or something else. But when the husband then attempts to explain the crossdressing to his wife, in so many cases the wife says she can no longer trust her husband because he kept this "secret" from her. Even though the husband attempts to explain that fear was the reason he kept the crossdressing from her, the wife cannot find a way to forgive.
At some point, the husbands write me hoping that I have a magic solution to their problem - a way to help the...
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Letter Writers

Notes on Gender Role Transition
Anne Vitale Ph.D. Editor
A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman


Originally published in "Devil Woman" February 2014
Republished here by permission February 2017

Letter Writers

Recently, I received an email from a woman (Linda) stating that she had been with her partner for about 20 years. Within the past few months, her partner declared that he was transsexual. She wanted to know if I knew of any support groups for lesbian women in her situation.
The online group I belong to consists mainly of spouses or partners of crossdressers and many of them never like any mention of transsexuals or SRS. However, I decided to ask anyway as you just never know where information can be found.
I was pleasantly surprised to hear from several women on the forum who had information. I decided to research some of the sites mentioned myself and was amazed as always at just how much you can learn from the Internet. At this point I didn't know if these sites ...
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Becoming Inventive

Notes on Gender Role Transition
Anne Vitale Ph.D. Editor
A Significant Other View

by Julie Freeman

This article is reprinted with permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached at Julie39@comcast.net

 

Becoming Inventive

When significant others attend social events, seminars, or perhaps conventions, it frequently involves getting baby sitters, other family members, or even friends to take care of the children. Usually, friends ask, “Oh, where are you going?” Family members in particular are curious just in general when asked to baby sit. “Oh, what kind of convention will you be attending?” At work, when asked for a few days off, it is not uncommon to be asked, “What is your reason?”

So wives and partners of crossdressers have had to become inventive when giving reasons for their attending gender events. When I first suggested to my husband that he attend a Tri-Ess Convention m...
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More Supportive

Anne Vitale PhD, Editor
Notes on Gender Role Transition
By Julie Freeman

June 8, 2009


Editor's Note: Ms Freeman is the long time wife of a crossdresser. Her column "A Significant Other View" appears regularly in Devil Woman. She has given permission to reprint what follows.

Helping to Make Your SO More Supportive

A friend of mine whom I correspond with on a fairly regular basis asked me what could crossdressers do to make their significant others more supportive. As we all know, there are some significant others who are accepting from the very beginning and have little problem with crossdressing or even transsexualism. But then there is the other extreme – wives and partners who cannot tolerate the idea of a husband who desires to crossdress. It is very difficult to reach this latter group as their minds are already made up to resist any action on the part of their husband, support group, helping professional, or even other wives to become supportive or at the very least try to learn...
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The Non-Supportive Wife

Notes on Gender Role Transition
Anne Vitale Ph.D. Editor
A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman

This article is reprinted with permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached at Julie39@comcast.net

The Non-Supportive Wife

Posted Jan 14, 2014

Recently, I wrote about some significant others who wrote to me about their husbands who they believed were crossdressers. These were wives who were genuinely concerned about their husbands and wanted to understand what was going on. But for many reasons the husbands refused to talk to their wives about their crossdressing. I asked my on-line support group members for their opinions as to the reluctance of these husbands and those who responded to me thought it was quite common as a first reaction when being confronted for crossdressers to deny they crossdressed simply because they were afraid of what might result.

Some mentioned that it was only when their husbands were a...
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