index-of-articles

Faithfulness

Notes on Gender Role Transition
Anne Vitale Ph.D. Editor
A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman

This article is reprinted with permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached at Julie39@comcast.net

Faithfulness
One of the more disturbing topics that significant others discuss is that of faithfulness. It seems that many wives, not just girlfriends mind you, have discovered that when their crossdressing husbands emerge from the closet, they feel sexual experimentation is now on the agenda. Some are convinced they really are women; therefore a boyfriend is in order. Others don’t know what they want, but just want to play around a bit until they discover what they like.

At the same time these individuals are experimenting, they expect their wives to support and condone their behavior, keep the family unit intact without even raising an eyebrow. They are hurt and saddened to...
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Celebrating Diversity

A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman

This article is reprinted with permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached at Julie39@comcast.net

Celebrating Diversity
As children, we looked for conformity. We wanted our parents to be like everyone else’s. We wanted our friends to be just like us or at least look like us! We wanted to live in a house like our friend’s. We wanted our neighborhood to be like our friend’s. We found comfort and solace in the status quo; we celebrated sameness! We not only did not like those who were different, we were terrified of being ostracized by our peers simply because we were different.

But as we grew older, we became more aware of our surroundings and came to realize that we are not alike at all. We are quite varied in our appearance, our philosophies, and our values.

So as we grew up and became more secure in our own individuality, we came to un...
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Being Bombarded

Being Bombarded
By Julie Freeman

April 27, 2007

Belonging to an on-line group of women who are in a relationship with a transgendered man never fails to bring up topics that I feel obliged to comment on. Without fail, wives new to the group are hostile, angry, afraid, and just wish the transgenderism would disappear. One wife, recently, pointed out that with everything being said these days about deteriorating marriages, crossdressers who push the envelope, formerly positive wives becoming more negative, might it just not be better to never start a relationship with a crossdresser since the significant other can only come to expect escalation of the transgenderism and a worsening of the personal relationship.

Well, this was a bandwagon everyone with an axe to grind could not wait to jump on. Warnings to those women, not yet married, came out in droves cautioning anyone who had not yet tied the knot to run as fast as they could from the transgressor – in this case, their transgendered boyfriend.

Those women, who were marri...
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Feeling Betrayed

A Significant Other View
By Julie Freeman

June 8, 2009

Editor's Note: Ms Freeman is the long time wife of a crossdresser. Her column "A Significant Other View" appears regularly in Devil Woman. She has given permission to reprint what follows.

Feeling Betrayed

When significant others first join on-line support groups, it is very common to hear from them concern and anger that they were not told about the crossdressing at the beginning of their relationship. Below is a quote from an email I recently received.

The part that is just killing me these past two days is that I feel betrayed. That he lied to me and has been living another life. "

Tied to their resentment and anger at feeling betrayed is the whole issue of trust. Why did he not trust me enough to tell me? What else has he not told me? How can I ever trust him again! The list goes on and on.

And so it becomes part of every support group's routine to help...
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Helping to Make Your SO Supportive

A Significant Other View
by Julie Freeman

This article is reprinted with permission from DEVIL WOMAN, the Diablo Valley Girls newsletter. Ms Freeman is the wife of a crossdresser. She can be reached at Julie39@comcast.net

Helping to Make Your SO Supportive

Posted Jan 13, 2014

A friend of mine whom I correspond with on a fairly regular basis asked me what could crossdressers do to make their significant others more supportive. As we all know, there are some significant others who are accepting from the very beginning and have little problem with crossdressing or even transsexualism. But then there is the other extreme -- wives and partners who cannot tolerate the idea of a husband who desires to crossdress. It is very difficult to reach this latter group as their minds are already made up to resist any action on the part of their husband, support group, helping professional, or even other wives to become supportive or at the very least try to learn why their spouses are transgendered.

But t...
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